“An ancient philosophical opinion, inherited from Aristotle, is that we do not understand a thing until we know it by its causes. When the maid-servant says that ‘the cat’ broke the tea-cup, she would have us conceive the fracture in a causally explanatory way”

                                              -William James, Some Problems of Philosophy

Maid-servant: Master William, master William, the cat broke the tea-cup!

William James: Good heavens, how are you sure?

Maid-servant: Well, I saw clearly that its tail brushed the tea set off the Victorian dish cabinet, thereby knocking it onto the Persian rug, causing a whole mess of porcelain and tea!

William James: How unfortunate, that rug tied the room together so!

Maid-servant: Tis true, Master William!

William James: Although, what puzzles me, maid-servant, is that while the Calico remains perceptibly dry, I can’t help but notice that damp, sepia stain on the bottom of your dress. And if causality, as Aristotle said, allows us to understand any thing, I’d conclude that you, maid-servant, are a lying, filthy whore!

Maid-servant: No!

William James: How dare you blame the Calico!

William James then murdered the maid-servant, and proceded to sit in his armchair, petting his kitty, pondering the wisdom of the ancients…